I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m an introvert. On the Meyers-Briggs scale, I’m all the way over to the side of Introvert.
Which probably surprises my friends. You see, I’m not at all shy. I’ve done a lot of public speaking – the biggest audience was just around 535 people. I love speaking in public – it’s such a gas! No, really, it’s about as much fun as you can have without paying admission!
What is an Introvert?
The confusion stems from the misperception that introverts are shy and extroverts are outgoing. That’s not the case. It’s really a case of how you feel after social contact. Here’s a quick self-test you can do:
After a long evening spent at a lively party you feel
A – Excited, charged up, and sad that it’s all over
B – Tired, spent, ready for some quiet time alone to recharge your batteries
If you answered A, you’re an extrovert. If you answered B, you’re an introvert.* At no point did shyness factor in.
Networking poses problems for Introverts
The first is, socializing can be rather overwhelming. I love all my friends and I love a night out with my colleagues, but afterwards, I need time alone just to feel recharged again.
Networking, by definition, requires socializing with a lot of people in a short period of time. That can overwhelm and exhaust most Introverts.
Here are some tricks I’ve found to make networking more enjoyable and productive.
- Don’t try to meet everyone. Decide that you will only meet 3 new people at each event. This limit means that I am still pretty fresh when I meet someone new and that first impression needs to be a good one.
- Make sure you schedule downtime for after the event. The bigger the event, the more downtime I’m going to need. Chamber events usually mean I need the rest of the evening. My weekly networking event only requires an hour, which I use for the commute and a trip to the post office or bank.
- Take a break. Go outside to get some fresh air for 15 minutes. 15 minutes of quiet can make a huge difference.
- If you’re short, like I am, avoid being in the center of the crowd. This can feel very suffocating. Or hang out with other short people. Either one works.
At the end of the event, give yourself some time to recover and then start filing your new contact information and making your follow-up plans.
The trick, I’ve found, is to accept that you’re an introvert and make room in your schedule for some quiet time.
Introverts can excel at networking
Remember how I told you to concentrate on just meeting 3 people? This will make a bigger impact than trying to meet everyone in the room. I learned this from my friend Tammy Redmon, who is a business coach. She calls the bulk networking approach “Spray and Pray.” Spray the room with your business cards and pray someone remembers you.
Tammy explains that, when you concentrate on just 3 people, you get a chance to know them in depth. The goal of networking is to establish a relationship with someone, not to drum up business.
When you develop a relationship with someone, you will develop trust and trust is what is necessary to get referrals.
Unscientific Poll: Are you an introvert or an extrovert? How does that change how you network?
*Results are not scientific.
I also am an extreme introvert: I love people, but they exhaust me. One wonderful thing about massage is that — so long as my client isn’t a chatterer — it doesn’t run down my “social battery” at all: in fact, it seems to recharge it. I have one circle of friends in which it’s simply accepted that I will work on somebody if they come within range, shoulders or feet or hands, and I can socialize with these people all day without exhaustion. But of course you can’t do that with strangers
And email & social media are likewise a godsend, allowing me to communicate without exhausting myself.
I’m betting that the percentage of introverts in the massage profession is greater than that of society as a whole. You’re right, being with a client is completely different. Even when you do get a chatty client, it’s a nice break.
I am a hardcore introvert even though I am a reporter. I love interviewing people and making sure their stories are told to the world. But leave me alone if you see me in Wal-Mart. People exhaust me so I tend to be hermit at times. I am working on with my small group of friends. As for networking, I do it because it is a part of my job and need to make contacts. It’s not easy.
That has to be hard to be a reporter and an introvert. Is it easier when you are talking to someone 1 on 1?
I dress up. I make sure I’m wearing clothing that helps me feel confident and attractive. Comfortable, cute shoes are my armor. A great purse is my sword. Shallow? Maybe. I would rather chew glass than attend a networking event, this is how I cope.
You are correct about there being a disproportionate amount of introverts in massage. I love people one on one. Groups scare the hell out of me.
Your clothing is your armor and it gives you a feeling of comfort and power, so it’s not at all shallow. What a great idea.
Funny. I’d like to *think* I’m an extrovert, but your description of Introvert sounds suspiciously like me. I’m perplexed…
though I’m a believer in Astrology – so being that I’m on the cusp of Aries/Taurus, I’ll go with the fact that I’m probably playing tug of war. At times, people exhaust me; other times I most likely exhaust THEM with my child-like, wide-eyed excitement that cannot always be contained. C’est la vie.
@Barb – You are probably what Robin Williams calls “situationally gregarious”, like me. With friends, I’m very lively, but at the end of the evening, I’m pooped and ready for down time. Then again, maybe you’re in the middle of that scale and do swing between both. Interesting.
I love this! Great help!
I am an introvert and shy too! That’s why I am a massage therapist because i can work with one person at a time. That’s why I write! I have been asked to speak but just can’t do it yet anyways!
Julie
Julie – the best way to learn to speak is, well, to speak. I used to be in marketing and had to do it 3 or 4 times a week and that’s when I got good at it. When I changed jobs to Intel, I didn’t speak as often, but to much larger audiences and they provided training by some of the best. That’s when I got great at it. I tried Toastmasters, but I didn’t get much out of it other than being able to recommend it. Everyone in Toastmasters has been shy and afraid to speak at one time and they are very sympathetic and supportive to new members.
Kelli, this is a great post and it has some very useful tips.
The great thing about the Internet is that it provides introverted people with a tool to express themselves and meet people. For those of you who feel uncomfortable attending networking events in the UK to meet fellow professionals, I strongly encourage you to visit Cocoon Health (http://cocoonhealth.co.uk).
It’s a social network designed for complementary therapists, fitness and wellness professionals. It’s completely free and it enables you to create a profile, connect with other professionals and your clients, receive recommendations and feedback and take care of your clients.
In light of networking, it’s a very useful site to find other health professionals in your area. Use the recommendation system to build strategic partnerships and increase referrals.